Mothers Day

Motherhood. The word with many faces. See you and the next person will not likely define motherhood in the same way, and not one meaning is more right than the other. 

Vanessa and I were lucky enough to get the chance to screen the movie "Mothers Day" this past weekend. Aside from the non-stop laughter throughout practically the ENTIRE film, the movie really made us realize how many different types of families are celebrating this upcoming holiday. Single, married, gay, young, not married, widowed... we are all different which means the way we all mother can't possibly be the same. Because of "Mothers Day" the movie, we thought we would write to you all about something we unintentionally catch ourselves doing at times; passing judgement. 

Too quickly we turn to judgments if we notice someone doing something any different than the way we do them. What makes our way the right way? There is no set rules to follow when you become a mother, and that's the beauty of it. We are all fighting different battles, so we should always try to extend a little bit of grace and kindness. Life is hard enough as it is, we don't need to make it harder. 

I remember when Vanessa was still pregnant with Jax I had seen a mom post on Facebook about how she had been waiting in her car outside Target for 45 minutes because her little one was napping and she didn't want to wake him up. I turned to Vanessa and said "we are not going to be "that mom", you better believe we would be picking Jax up out of his car seat and walking right on into the store" ... YEAAAAHHHH RIGHHHTT! You know damn well when your kid is sleeping it is the only time you get some peace and quiet. Don't even let me get started on how the rest of the day goes if one of them misses a nap... and so, if Jax and Ero are asleep in the car seat... we wait. Those kids need their nap as much as we need their nap.  You really have no idea how many times I have eaten my words since becoming a mother. 

Vanessa and I are a gay married couple who each gave birth to a child building this family up to a family of four. We practice attachment parenting, extended-breastfeeding, we co-sleep but above all we have unconditional love for our little ones and that is all that really matters. What I am trying to say here is that each and every one of us is a unique, one-of-a-kind mother. Let that soak in.

So here I am today to tell you to stop and think before passing judgment on different families. We are not all the same and that's what makes the world go round. For this Mothers Day post we want to encourage all of you to put aside differences and unite, not as a single mothers, young mothers, lesbian mothers or whatever category you may fall into, but instead let's all unite together as MOTHERS. One team, with one focus; to raise the next generation to the best of our abilities.

"Mothers Day" the movie will be in theaters Friday. I know a lot of you mommas don't get too much time for yourselves but take it from us, this movie is a must-see. "Come celebrate the mother of all holidays" #MothersDayMovie

Lentil Couscous Tenders Recipe

Ingredients : 

1 cup cooked lentils

1 cup cooked couscous

vegetable broth

1/2 chopped onion

1 1/2 cup old fashioned oats (grinded to powder)

Your choice of seasonings:  

chili pepper



Himalayan salt

freshly ground pepper  


1. Cook lentils according to packaging (use vegetable broth for liquid)

2. Cook couscous according to packaging  (use water for liquid)

3. sauté onions adding salt and pepper 

4. Pre-heat oven to 425

5. In a large bowl, add cooked lentils, cooked couscous and sautéed onions. Add seasonings to taste. 

6. Mix in grinded oats into the bowl.  

7. Shape pieces into tenders your desired size. (Do not make them too think or too thin) 

8. Place tenders on baking pan

9. Bake for 15 minutes. Flip and bake for another 15 minutes. Depending on how crispy you'd like, set to broil for another minute or two.  

10. Taste the amazing-ness and don't forget to hashtag #theroyskitchen so we can see!  

(No animals were harmed in the making of this dish, and it still tastes BOMB-as-FUCK!!!) 



We get so many questions about our marriage. "How do we keep the spark alive, how do we make time for each other and our individual needs? What's our secret?" Truth is, we have no fucking clue. Lol We have our disagreements on almost everything haha. I mean we ARE two different people, who have two different opinions and beliefs. Luckily one thing we almost always agree on is how we raise our kids, we always have our babies best interest and well being at hand when making parenting decisions. So thankfully we agree on that for the most part. But when it comes to other things it's the complete opposite 😆 From deciding which route to take to get from point A to point B on a map, to picking out furniture. I'm not even kidding about that first one, we ALWAYS think our own choice is the shortest in distance and time. If we are driving In separate cars (which happens sometimes because Melanie usually meets up with us after work if we are out and about) we take our own routes home to see who's option was best. I know, I know, sooo petty hahaha.

Although our pictures seem perfect as if we don't have any problems, thats totally not the case. One thing is for sure,  whatever crap we are going through we still love each other unconditionally, we will still smile and hug for a picture. Which works out because it usually helps to bring down our invisible swords. In the beginning of our marriage and way before meeting Melanie, I always said that if ever I get married and I'm not happy I'd get a divorce. Simple. Right? Wrong! After being in this marriage with Mel and starting our family, I realized that you can't just simply call it quits because your in a rough patch or because we gave it a few shots and things haven't changed.

Melanie had a completely different view on marriage, she doesn't believe in divorce. Now I'm not talking about staying with your spouse if they turn out to be some psycho and is just overall unhealthy for you and your kids. Lol I'm talking about if a marriage still has trust, love, and respect then everything else is fixable. We disagreed for a bit on this subject. I've always been the type of person to simply remove myself from anything and everything that no longer made me happy. Relationships, jobs, sitcoms. (So not kidding, if a show starts becoming boring and I no longer enjoy watching it, I will literally cut all emotional ties I have to the characters and delete it off my que. Lol. I don't care if I am 3 years and 56 episodes deep)  Looking back at our obstacles and struggles we've overcome, I stop and wonder what was I thinking!? If I would of quit when we tried and failed at fixing one of our problems we wouldn't be here today, and today I'm fucking happy!

There are days where I'm not the happiest I could be. Let's face it, shit happens. Lack of sleep, lack of a hot uninterrupted meal, lack of a calming and unrushed hot shower can make me a grouchy unhappy person.  Then to top it off Melanie wants to talk crap to me about how she can't find the tweezers because they aren't in its correct spot. There are days where we are on totally different wave lengths, like one of us wanting sexy time and the other wanting to knock out. So on THOSE days is when we can't give up, when we don't quit. Those days we keep pushing for the days where the kids have matching naps which gives me time to clean and cook and take a crap in peace. Which results in happy me and refreshed me who is ready to take on the day! The me who is ready to hop into that shower at 10 o'clock at night shave my legs and treasures so that I'm all freshened up for some alone time with my love. Even if its only about an hour. Judge me if you want but I just don't feel sexy when I have boogers smeered on my shirt and sticky hair to match.

As soon as I began to think of marriage and divorce like Melanie did, I noticed I started looking for solutions instead of just letting the problems sit there and pile up. We talk about it and get though it. We learned that if we eliminate divorce as an option... we will never result to it. People constantly comment "goals" under our family pictures. I hope that each and every one of those is said with the passion to truly want it. To work hard at it everyday, and to never give up. 






“The days are long but the years are short” is a quote that I never quite understood until I became a parent. When we have a day that is filled with crying and endless trips to the pantry, we count down the hours till bedtime. Yet here we are in the last month of 2015! How in the heck did we get here so fast!?! I was having a conversation the other day with a friend who was visiting from Florida (who rarely gets to see the kids unless it's through our social media outlets) and within the first few minutes of stepping into our home, she saw what she had been missing - everything I DONT post on our pages Hahahaha. She then went on by saying, "wow you guys make it look so easy but in reality it's a lot of work!" I laughed and then thought why don't I share the "unfiltered" side of parenting? Why are all my pictures and videos of only the joys of motherhood? I guess I never really meant to "only" capture these kinds of moments. I mean I don’t think to quickly grab my phone when Jax decides to throw his tantrums because he wants to blow bubbles at the most inconvenient times. The holiday season is the best time to look back at the years memories, but lets do something different and instead of only sharing the beautiful times, we are going to also share the not-so-happy ones. 

So I thought to myself, how can I rewind time so that I can also take photos of the meltdowns our kids have had? Although I want to pull my eyelashes out in those moments, they are still a very big part of our day to day. Plus I'm pretty sure looking back at those photos years from now would make some great stories.

 Hmm turns out that time machines are hard to find so I guess I will write about these "special" memories, to not forget them :)  

Now, let's see... At the beginning of the year, we had mastered the "catch Jax before he hits the floor" routine as he started learning how to walk. At first it was fun and it made us smile but after a bit our backs were killing us and we literally had to be all eyes on Jax at all times. So one day I said, "we have to let him fall so he can learn to get back up" I kid you not a few hours later one of those falls resulted in a fractured wrist. Good job Melanie and Vanessa; a broken bone in the first year! Talk about starting with a "Big Bang" lol

Hmm... Now I have a huge list of unfiltered moments that I can start throwing your way... Let's see...

Restaurant MELTDOWNS! I can’t even tell you how many times this year we have had to rush through our dinner to get these kids out of the restaurant as soon as possible. From throwing food on the ground to twisting and wiggling in attempts to get out of their high chairs, I literally come out of restaurants needing a vacation lmao it's so funny cause it's so true. 

Oh, the pantry, that's another story. Jax has spent entire days going into the pantry, asking for a snack, and once it was opened he didn’t even want it. This happened a good 15 times in the day. Don’t let me even get into the anxiety about the amount of food wasted this year. 

Although I sound like I'm being Ms. Negative Nancy right now, please know that the good outweigh the bad. I love my kids and wouldn't change a thing.... BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY TUB THAT I STILL HAVEN’T GOT TO USE THIS YEAR. We moved into our home in the middle of this year, it is now the December and I have not been able to take a single bath with some candles and a glass of wine (which is what I envisioned when we first saw this house). Hm… wait I'm lying here, I forgot- I did manage to get the tub filled and was able to get myself comfortable in it one time... but for like 3 minutes because then one of the kids woke up crying and I had to run out of the warm water into the cold room all wet to rock baby back to sleep. Oh and check this out, once I put Ero back down, I tried to get back to my "Me" time but the tub water was already cold. I decided to hop into the shower to only find out that I had used up all the hot water hahahahahaha so a quick cold shower is what I had to settle for. Oh man I remember that night too well lmao. But Jax and Ero have used my tub plenty this year and they love it. Bath time for them is a lot of fun- yea yea for us too because we get to see their smiles when they splash each other but holy hell the stiff back pains we get from bending over to wash them off. 

I know this may be too much info but did anyone else have parties going on in their bathroom while trying to drop a deuce?!?!? I mean you'd think I could get five minutes of free time while I send out my package but nooooooo I had my two littles in there with me year round, one unrolling the toilet paper and the other opening and slamming all drawers.  

This year was also filled with hysterical car rides. Both babies went through a good 6-month phase of HATING their car seats.  Thankfully though, they are both over that phase and we can go to the outside world and run errands now lol. Oh but we had a special trick though... the BOOBIE! Desperate times call for desperate measures lol you don’t even want to know how many times I'd hover over the car seat, whip out my boob and vuala the crying would stop. Yeah, it was convenient but boy was it uncomfortable. The car seat jamming into your rib, holding yourself up and making sure you brace yourself for every turn and bump on the road. Just when your legs start to go numb, they have fallen asleep.  

Breastfeeding has its perks. No bottles, no mixing of formula, as soon as your baby cries you whip it out and done. It's pretty convenient if you ask me. But of course like everything else in parenting, everything has a catch. 3 words- clogged milk ducts Oh. My. God. I could count probably 10 cases of CMD this year and ohh I won't forget them. Boobs get hard, vainy, and any movement or no movement brings on the uncomfortable pain that would just put me in a horrid mood. And this happened with any feeding schedule change, growth spurt, and teething episodes; because that's when they nurse more often. Then we move on to PUMPING-- a whole other world. I stay home with the babies so I've never had the "pleasure" of pumping, (I was totally being sarcastic there) but Melanie gets milked like a cow 2 times a day while she is gone at work. That's a total of 15,600 minutes this year! Having to stop your work momentum to plug in your machine and then get yourself all connected has to be annoying. But of course pumping gives Mel the opportunity to continue nursing Ero when she gets home so she does it with no complaints.  

Usually at night is when parents get a break, right? Wrong! Hahaha We co-sleep with both Jax and Ero; it's two adults and two little humans on one king size bed. This year had multiple jumps up off the bed because one of them has rolled off, 3 am burst of energy that last about 2 hours and of course the amazing snuggles that come with co-sleeping. 

Ok so yea as I'm writing this I am laughing at all these 2015 memories that are popping into my head, but this was our year unfiltered.  If you are reading this and don't have kids yet, I promise that it's not all bad lol. In the middle of the madness I sometimes want to run away but that is very short lived. We are so grateful for these unshared moments. These are our kids. This is our life. This is Parenting Unfiltered. 

Plum Organics (@plumorganics) couldn't have worded it better, "This is parenting. It's about taking a chance, living unscripted, admitting uncertainty along the way. It's complex, but that's the best part. Why put a filter on it?" They are so right! So we would like to challenge all you parents to share those raw, authentic and real out takes by creating your own Holiday Newsletter at . Make sure you hashtag #ParentingUnfiltered so we can all get the pleasure to see these untold stories!

With Love,

The Roys


this post was sponsored by Plum Organics